So here are my (always subject to change) plans as we roll into the second half of 2023. I'm almost finished with The Mind of Thomas Jefferson. It's a book by a historian for other historians. Plenty of interesting insight into the titular subject, but the undercurrent of how academic historians talk to each other also provides interesting stimulation. I have one and a half essays left to read. I will finish that one this week. I will quickly move on to A Bend in the River. I read a bit of this one before going back to the Jefferson book. I was sufficiently engaged, I just decided to pick up the Jefferson book again. A Bend in the River is physically short but my experience with this type of book is deep enough that I no longer confuse physical dimensions with the amount of time required to get through a carefully written work of literature. That puts us somewhere in the middle of July with 14 books read.
The third Brandon Sanderson special project book is downloaded on my phone. That will be my 15th book of the year. These haven't been particularly long or challenging reads. I should get to 15 books read (and 170 books to go) before the end of the month. With 22 weeks or so left in the year, I would need to get to a book a week clip to make it to my goal of being under 150 books to read by the end of the year. Or I could bail on that goal and pick up a hefty long read. I could go back to reading two books at a time to get through a big book while maintaining a reasonable reading pace (I did this while reading Anna Karenina), but I'm not sure that system would work in my current circumstances. I also just don't really want to do that right now.
I spent 3 months reading The Once and Future King last year. What would be the big deal if I spent a month or two reading The Count of Monte Cristo? I wouldn't get to 150 books by the end of the year, but I would have a large book (that many people seem to really love) checked off my list. I would demonstrate to myself that I have it in me to take on these big challenges again. Take on isn't the right phrase. I have the ability to succeed in reaching a big, challenging goal. I picked up the Malazan books because I thought it would be a challenge to read through those monstrosities. I knew they would take time and a focused effort to complete. I got through all 10 of them. I was successful in reaching a well defined long term goal.
I haven't been successful in reaching many long term goals over the last few years. My energy has been dissipated into just making it through the day. My career is just kind of stumbling along. I'm doing better at applying meaningful effort, but I still have improvements to make. My marathon training, and physical fitness efforts in general, have been abysmal. I've finished the WDW Marathon twice since moving to Florida, but preparing properly is the real point of signing up for the marathon. I use the race as a framework for solid training that is aimed at making me more fit. That hasn't happened in the last two years. I've definitely run more than I would have without the race as motivation to put in long Saturday runs, but I haven't had the extended effort that is central to successful marathon training (like I know what that is). So just getting through a random assortment of short to medium length books to reach some arbitrary count at the end of the year isn't me applying a focused effort on a meaningful task. It's just going through the motions to feel like I'm doing something that I claim is meaningful to me.
The number of books I read, even the type of books that I read, isn't really the point of Bookshelf Zero. The point isn't to read the books. The point is to spend time on doing something that is meaningful. An evening spent scrolling social media on my phone or flipping through TV channels has a place in my life, but it's also important to stay focused on efforts that have a deeper and more meaningful impact on my life. I've spent 3 years watching my energy just dissipate into a nothingness morass. I've accepted any effort as evidence that I'm still engaged. I'm not looking for an edge or trying to reach new levels of performance. I've been coasting on past accomplishments. I've started to turn that tide, but real effort is going to be needed to make real progress. Getting fit, staying sharp, and staying engaged with a broader world of ideas and opinions are worthy ways to spend my time.
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